Real Talk with Charmaine
Unfortunately, the latest conversation on the spiritual radar radio is all about the revelation of sexual sins in the church right now. Listen, I did not grow up as a young person in the church. So when I was a young adult and the very first Pastor we had was revealed as having sexual misconduct with women other than his wife, needless to say, I was floored. This would be an ongoing pattern that I would see as I grew up from a newbie to a mature believer. I was blessed to have spiritual fathers and mothers in the faith that taught me about spiritual abuse. I learned early on that in the same manner that you need to guard yourself against predators as a young person, so you needed to be alert and vigilant not to be deceived as a young believer.
Sad to say that they teach you about sexual sin but not about the other things you might encounter from spiritual leaders like financial, emotional, and spiritual abuse. I could also talk about manipulation and control that is so subtle that you don’t see it sneaking up on you, till you have totally surrendered all of your power to it.
We are taught consistently by church leaders about integrity, character and accountability for ourselves. The scriptures are taught to help us to learn how to deal with our shortcomings and failures.
True integrity is when your character, morals and principles consistently match up with your actions. The moment that they don’t is when we are required to be honest, with God, ourselves, and others and make amends swiftly for our failures.
We need to be accountable and not afraid to confront inappropriate behaviour by our leaders as well, not with the intention of taking down a Pastor or leader that has made an error in judgement, but for the preservation of those with hearts for repentance.
I am well aware that there are some leaders that are in deep denial and are actually perpetrating evil sins that are destroying the very fruit that they are supposed to be cultivating. It is true that there are those that realize that the vulnerability of Christians makes them an easy target or prey.
This is not acceptable but we must acknowledge that there is a whole system built around this that supports this behaviour rather than Kingdom culture that is all about #authenticity, #vulnerability and #accountability.
We have been silent for too long because when we spoke of these atrocities we have been judged and silenced as rebellious. That time has come to an end and those that have been persecuted for saying NO to this behaviour are being vindicated as the truth is being brought to the light.
But many of our leaders are trapped by the feelings of losing everything if they make a single mistake and confess. This just reinforces the power of secrecy and shame.
The Bible teaches that it profits a man nothing to gain the whole world and yet to still lose his soul. We need to stop perpetuating the lie that a person’s character is the only thing that develops good fruit. There are so many leaders that we thought had impeccable character because they had large churches, or a fruitful ministry or lots of money. This lie has put us in the pathway of deception. God is able to do amazing things with even the sinner. Let’s just take a moment and pause here and think about that one.
My grave concern is for those of us that are caught up in the hurricane or avalanche of destruction that occurs when the truth finally surfaces. This type of deception has ripple effects that do not only impact the leader in question but every person that has validated their ministry.
My heart goes out to the leader caught in the trap and also the victim of the deception. Ultimately God cares for both and wants to free them from the bondage created by our secrets and lies.
If you are in a place right now where everybody is just about to find out about your cover-up- know this, God can see behind every mask. He loves you warts and all. He knew we would fail and made a way for all of us to get back on track and keep going. Don’t give up and don’t live the lie. #authenticity #realdeal #inthemessy
Give your situation to God and trust the process.